7 Tips on Learning to Love Yourself

This is something that I didn’t learn to do until recently but the journey began about 9 (almost 10 years ago) when I was 20. I had was living alone for the first time and I dedicated every Saturday morning to myself. I would get up, turn on some music (India Arie, Jill Scott, and Erykah Badu ruled my radio), take a hot shower, and pray. I’d write in my journal. lay around and not turn the TV on until the evening (if I turned it on at all). It was the first time that I put myself first and I began to re-open my heart to God.

It was that same year that I joined a gospel choir at school and really got back into the word. I also failed out of school. Although I had a spiritual breakthrough that year I had A LOT of growth to do. There will be another post or 3 explaining the past 10 years of my life and what exactly I had been through but for now I just want to tell you want I have learned.

  1. accept love                                                                                                                           I wondered what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t find people that valued me for me. Why was I the girl that guys wanted to date, Why wasn’t I the popular friend, Why wasn’t I the smart girl.. Why not me? I allowed negative thoughts to fill my mind with reason I wasn’t good enough to be THAT GIRL. I thought I wasn’t worth being happy. I didn’t think I deserved to have all the desires of my heart. It was the way that I lived my life. Luckily for my I had hit my breaking point. I couldn’t live in sadness and depression any longer. I began to look at myself different. It was a day to day process but I began to acknowledge the things I am good at and what I liked about myself. Soon the people around me, and people I didn’t know began to notice those things too. Now that was a good feeling. If you think something about yourself long enough, you’ll begin to believe it as fact. Once you believe it to be true, you’ll put into the world the things that you believe. That naturally attracts  people that fit the mold to your belief system. Think hate and you’ll attract it. Think love and it will come to you.
  2. LET IT GO BABY!!                                                                                            anxietyI have dealt with anxiety my entire life in all aspects of life. I get test anxiety, I don’t like too large of crowds and new things scare my to my core. I suffer from panic attacks. I’ve held onto past mistakes, people’s anger/mistreatment of me, and anger for years on end. That began to build up and take a hold of my life. One thing that we all must do is LET THE BAD GO. It will manifest inside you and change the very core of who you are. It will effect the people in your life and decipher who enters your life (please refer to number 1). Let go of anything and everything that stands in the way of your personal happiness. Nothing is worth your happiness. Nothing is worth your dreams.
  3. Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes and people will do things to hurt us but we must forgive. When you feel like forgiveness is not within you just remember:                                                  forgive
  4. Speak Life into Yourself! As I person brought up in the church, I was taught that life and death is in the tongue. How many times are we taught to be nice and say nice things? How many times have you heard “don’t say that, that’s not nice”? How many of you make sure to watch what you say because words hold a lot of power? Whether it be via text or from your directly from your lips, you know you pay attention to the things that you say. You also pay attention to what people say to you. The closer someone is to you, the more their words count. So why on earth would you not pay attention to the things that you say to yourself? No one can hurt you like you can. You have to make sure that what you say about yourself is positive and uplifting. Speak life over your life.
  5. Forster Positive Relationships. Once you remove all the negative people from your life, make sure to work at keeping all the good people around. Spend time with those that speak life into you and motivate you. Make sure that you do the same for them. We can’t make it through the ups and downs without some source of backup. There is always someone out there fighting in our corner and praying for us to make it through. Keep those people around. Whatever goodness the deposit into your life you need to give it and spread it around.
  6. Exercise Good Habits.  We have to take care of our minds and bodies. It keeps us balanced and on track. It doesn’t have to take up a lot of your time but it’s necessary. A few examples are:
    •  meditate every morning/night/both
    • eating cleaner
    • exercising (something I have to make a daily norm)
    • listening to some good music
    • spending time with friends and family
    • take a 15min break at work to give your brain a rest
    • read a good book
  7.  treat yo self Thank you Parks and Recreation for that! But seriously you have to treat yourself everyone once and a while. You work hard every day. You’ve set goals and achieved them. No matter how big or small the accomplishment, you deserve a pat on the back and a little treat. So go out there and do something fun or put some money aside to get that big gift you want. We all know that you deserve it.

And that’s it. Those are my simple tips. Realizing these things have helped me get to a better place in life and I hope that they help you as well.





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About Me
A young 30 something trying to find my way to a healthier lifestyle and learning to embrace all that is me. Why don't you join me on my journey.

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