Intimacy and Why It’s Important

I am not talking just the physical intimacy between two people. I am talking about the intimacy in all relationships: lovers, friends, family and most importantly self.

Intimacy presents itself in many ways. It’s a hug, a smile, or a simple reminder of “I love you”.

Lovers – What we know best. Or so we think. People usually classify intimacy as something leading to sex but true intimacy goes far beyond that. Have you ever taken a nap with your special someone? Lightly entangled in each other or on two separate sides of the bed… just loving the feeling of knowing that they are with you. The days of running errands together because the rest of the week was dedicated to work and friends and everything else and the only time you ave together is paying bills and getting groceries. Then there are the moments of sitting and watching TV together and not saying a word – all displays of intimacy. When you share a friendship with memories and a real bond beyond just the sex, you relationship will have the power to withstand a little more than you think.

Friends – The people know your secrets and love you anyway. You hand pick these lovely people to share a part of your life that you share with no one else. Keep in mind that they chose you too! They are there when you need a shoulder to cry on, there to celebrate with you, and to tell you when you’re messing up in life. They are your undeniable mirror. At the end of the day, life isn’t really complete without your friends. As humans it is easy to get caught up in our personal lives, and day to day agenda that we may at times neglect our friends (we are all guilty of it). You have to make a conscious effort to pick up the phone and catch up, set a date to hangout – even if just for coffee, or to go and actually do something together. You are not only boosting their day, but you are creating new memories that the both of you will cherish.

Family – your family is incredibly important. No you didn’t get to carve out your perfect family but that doesn’t change the fact that they are yours forever. I can’t tell you that you will love every member of your family and get along with everyone in the same manor BUT when you do see them don’t take that time for granted. Make an effort to see how they are doing. Call your parents, siblings, and grandparents. Tell them you love them and are happy to see them happy. Try to be there for special events if you can. I remember graduating college and maybe 5% of my family came out to celebrate but I remember who showed. It meant the world to me to see my cousin and her husband cheering me on in the stands. It brought a tear or 2 to my eyes and still does to this day. Family is in no way perfect. I think that family helps build character in ways we don’t think of. Family teaches us to push past the exterior and love people for who they are. They can teach us to not take things for granted, to be grateful for what we have, and to know that we are never really alone.

Self– This is the absolutely most important relationship that you will ever have and need to foster the most. The one that you have with yourself! You can’t tend to the needs and wants of others if you are falling apart. I can’t express that enough. Take the time to figure out what makes you feel good, what is your sense of release, what is your version of self care. Now do those things at least once a week. I learned that reading a book for 15 minutes or listening to music all day and no television are forms of self care for me. I have to have quiet time or I will fall apart. So unplug from the rest of the world and do something for yourself. If you have kids, married, living with someone else, communicate what it is that you need from your significant other and to your kids in order for you to get some “me time”. Explain that it helps you be better version of yourself that you can be their for them. Remember that you have to be willing to do the same thing so they can unwind.

So peeps, how do you express intimacy with those around you and to yourself?


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A young 30 something trying to find my way to a healthier lifestyle and learning to embrace all that is me. Why don't you join me on my journey.

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