The King Size Bed

Modern-California-King-Size-Bed

Since I’ve been home with my parents I’ve had time to sit down and plan out my goals and aspirations for the future. So obviously I made sure to do everything else I needed to do instead of really diving into my personal feelings. However I recently had switched rooms so my cousin could move back-in for college. This meant switching from a queen size bed to a king and my the change in brought.

As I get older a queen size bed feels like the new full size bed. It’s my standard. My norm. Since I’ve been single since the beginning of time, I am accustomed to being in the space alone. It’s big enough to move around but small enough to fit just this one girl – if that makes sense. But now things have changed and the space of the king size bed has never been so apparent to me until now. There is no position that I can lay in that doesn’t emphasize the fact that no one is next to me. It became an overwhelming feeling. Almost paralyzing. A constant reminder that I have been single basically my entire life (except for the minor situationships that turn into nothing). My singleness began to consume my thoughts. Then it extended to the fact that the people I spend the most time with are on the other side of town and due to temporary financial constraints, I can’t just hop in the car to go see them. Even a movie night at the crib costs money – you know the gas tank has to be filled on occasion.

Then I find myself looking over every part of my life that isn’t exactly where I want it to be or even need it to be. I started to get down on myself of every aspect of life that isn’t perfect which is essentially… E V E R Y T H I N G. I got to the point that I just wanted to cry but I couldn’t. no tears would flow no matter how much I wanted them to. I just wanted to release these emotions and move past them. But nothing would flow.

Then something great happened. My booski called me. Shatise! She is one half the rock that hold me together and lifts me up (my sister is the other half). She called just to check in, allowed me to vent, and then reminded me that everything will be OK. At the end of that conversation I no longer needed to cry. I no longer felt alone. I remembered that proximity means nothing when you have good people fighting in your corner and believing in you.

In the end, there will be unexpected moments that will throw you completely off and shake you to your core. This will most likely happen when you need to be on you’re  A – game. Just keep you head up and keep pushing. Your boost will come when you least expect. Just answer the call.

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About Me
A young 30 something trying to find my way to a healthier lifestyle and learning to embrace all that is me. Why don't you join me on my journey.

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